Well, to understand the Upcollars without actually seeing them you must first remove your lip peircing, razor, and bipolar depression and put a smile on your face. Keep the depression nearby though because you'll need it in order to feel the sheer angst we'll throw at you. You will then will be subjected to skacore, dancecore, grungecore, funcore, angstcore, diecore, hardcore, and a whole lot more during this experience. You will feel your body begin to move in certain ways. For instance, you will feel a sudden urge to either start waltzing with the closest person next to you, or you will want to skank with them. You will feel the urge to stage dive, and before you know it, there a so many stage divers that the crowd can't handle many more, or you will begin moshing and punching who ever is next to you. No, you will not move to the edge of the pit and watch the select few wail on each other (jeebis). You, yourself, along with several others will create a vat of extreme anger followed by a really long drink from the fountain.

 

During this time of extreme moshing you must remember to watch your head. At this time, several band members have been known to throw their instruments out at the crowd, or Poo Face Larry the Head will be thrown at you; the asbestos from inside will begin to fill the room with anthrax. Not to worry though, no one has ever died... yet. As time drags on, we will give you a break to regain much of your energy. This song is called Very Virgin (its about a girl). At this time, you can either make out (opposite sex only),or you can raise your lighter and/or cell phone, and create a surreal atmosphere that you will remember the rest of your life. The song will progress, and at the end you will feel a really emotional guitar solo and sax solo thrown out by Nick and Chanson.

 

If all goes to plan, you will feel the deepest emotions inside yourself come to life, and you will realize you have finally found what you've been looking for. If all doesn't go as planned, its because Chanson, once again, forgot what key his sax is in, and you will be subject to a noodled saxophone and/ or clarinet solo that may or may not have the same effect. Before you know it though, the song is over, and you'll do anything to get it back. Such a life changing song cam surely not be over in 6 minutes. All of the sudden,the angst begins to rise. You want to feel happy again, but you begin to feel mad. At this time, we'll usually begin playing Fishy. You will begin clapping to such a catchy tune that'll forever more be stuck in your head. Then, Kenny will reach inside of himself, and a drum solo will emerge that would make John Bonham cry. This solo builds and builds. Then you begin jumping up and down as you feel the velocity of the song. You want more and more and then... everything crashes- feedback, speed picking, tapping solos. A piece of an amp just hit you.

 

The beat now slows down. You wonder to yourself "what is going on?" Then you feel it. The guitars drop into D. You feel that depression return from within, and all your emotions are running. You can't stop them even though they're not running very fast... and then the open D chords come like you're being hit with bullets. They're followed by very high pitched feedback that wakes all the sleeping feelings within you. Then everything collapses into a sheer of furiousity that you could never imagine. The moshing returns to you, and everyone else, ripping eveything apart. You can hear the 6 stringed riffs of destruction slowly and quickly self destructing on themselves. Catchy harmonies and screaming makes you say to yourself "my ears hurt," and then before you know it, i'ts over. The Upcollars are finished with you, and you'll do anything to have that happen again.

 

For more info on the Upcollars, check them out at www.myspace.com/theupcollars.com